How to be a best parent

Hello !

Some of my clients in New York City or in Skype sessions are so young as teenagers or even younger.

Of course young minds are so flexible.  It is about brain science and our values in each person typically fixed up to around age 10 and it would be very difficult for anyone to change it afterwards.

Yes, I agree.  If we can change our own values that quick and easy, we wouldn’t need any of hypnotherapy.  We can everyday believe that we are naturally wonderful then we wouldn’t need any of therapies including hypnotherapy.

However minds and values are fixed and shielded around age 10 that I learned in schools.

 

Young people’s values are not fixed yet so they easily believe so many things.

Santa Clause, ghosts, and monsters, anything spiritual and children easily can believe them.

 

I wrote about it before and it might be because pineal gland, so called the 3rd eye is still working in the young age that can see something that two eyes can’t see.

Pineal gland is located in-between left and right brains stop working in our teenage when our sexual hormones boost, I read.

In my opinion, sex is vitality itself so pineal gland wouldn’t be needed when we have a powerful vitality in our body as sexual hormones.

 

As we know, other animals rather than humans got very active pineal gland.  Thus they can see something those two eyes can’t see.

Pets often times know our moods or energy levels and decide how to communicate with us as they become friendly or not.

Dogs can feel some energy even when humans can’t feel anything and bark on something we can’t see in the air.  Energy, burglar, anything like that, they can know better than humans not only because they have better ears or nose than us.

 

I have repeatedly written about child up bringing though I want to write it again today. 

Why?  Because I have so many opportunities to believe childhood experiences can impact our lives in later ages as a professional.

 

My first book published in Japan in July 2017 has many aspects of those child up bringing in details. 

I have two adopted children who came to us as teenagers and they are now in their 20s who used to be my sister’s children.  It’s been almost 9 years since they came to us after my sister’s death.  

We had some hard time that I admit when they just came to us in their teenage.

 

I got my own twins and now they are in elementary school so I got 2 boys and 2 girls in the house.  This is very interesting psychology samples sometimes I notice. 

I wrote in details and practical communication and all that in the Japanese book and this book is going to be published in English in the US soon in this year.  

 

I am writing today more about general matters here.  What I can do for the best of my children in everyday life.

That is to show them and let them know that life is wonderful.  Not only saying it but also more importantly showing it in everyday living.

How?  Of course showing them how I enjoy my own life.

 

I was actually told that life was hard as a child.  I discovered that it was wrong  information and now I confirm and believe that life is fun even though hardships sometimes occur.

I changed my own values I believed as a child to something very new in hypnotherapy and the change actually changed my life.

Life is fun so we are supposed to enjoy our lives.  Life is not about doing something we don’t like or having lots of enemies or even life is not a battle at all.

 

When we believe that life is a battle, we are supposed to be attacked and be defensive.  We are laying low everyday when the life is a battle.

When there are only friends or good people in this world, we should go ahead and enjoy the life everyday, why not?

If you say that you can’t tell a lie to your children that life is wonderful, then you got a problem.

That may mean that you may believe that life is hard or a battle.  Then it would be a best gift for you to change your own perception for your own children’s best.

Then I am looking forward to working with you in sessions.

 

First of all, we have to know that children must feel so normal when anything, feelings or whatever are close to them in their childhood.

Of course, you see and have something daily basis, it would look normal and usual for us.  If you were born as a child in a store, you get used to customers around your house.  If your mother was a nurse, you can get used to hospital smell.

 

In other words, when you feel normal about something, you may feel missing when it is not around you.

Well this is a logic to support the idea that you could get together with abusive person when you are a child abuse survivor. 

For example, it rains from your birth and one day, it is cleared up.  You can enjoy the sun for a while but not too long..

Probably within a week, you would start begging for rain. 

 

Well when you get used to something, you feel missing when it is gone. 

It doesn’t matter the situation or things are good or bad for you.  You feel different in the new environment so you wouldn’t feel comfortable with the unusual situation.

Even though the sun is wonderful, the sun will be different from your usual environment so you wouldn’t feel comfortable with the sun…

This logic again explains why child abuse survivors may end up with abusive partners….

 

Then you would be very happy when rain finally falls down on you and go yes, I feel right!

Thus in child up bringing, we must place something we want our children to get used to close to them.  Things, manners, spirits, energy, feelings and so on. 

If you want your child to be smily, smile has to be around the child all the time until he/she feels like usual.  If you want your child to be kind, kindness should be around your child all the time too. 

When you want your child to be happy, happiness should be around the child too. 

 

We need someone to show that life is good when you want your child to feel like life is good. 

Then I believe that the person to show the children should be the child’s parent.

 

It is not be best to over protect the children from stress… because after all it is impossible to avoid stress in this society.  Your child has complicated dynamic with others even before kindergarten. 

It is be better if you can teach how to overcome stress or manage the stress.  When you have a difficulty, you can show your child how to overcome it nice and smooth, I say. 

 

Thus my own child up bringing technique is actually for myself to be happy and stay happy.  I want to show my children how wonderful life is through my attitude and the way I live. 

It is the best definitely doing it and showing it in front of the children rather than talking to them and explaining to them.

I want my children to see me as a person who have difficulties though overcome or recover from them quickly and seems to have fun in the life.

 

The more I show my attitude in my life, the more my way of living becomes normal for my children.  Because they understand my attitude is normal and should be there all the time.

Life is good. Happiness is always in the life.  Quick recovery from mistakes and hardships.  I practice all that and this is my child up bringing that I believe it is the best.

 

Please live happily and if you can’t, please come to see me.  It would be hard for you to make your children believe something you don’t believe.

If you want your children to have positive attitude and happy life, you as a parent should be positive and happy first.

 

Have a wonderful day!!